In the past we used to celebrate the many stages of a person’s life journey from birth through to old age.

Some traditions are still carried out in different countries. In China when a baby turns 100 days old there is great celebration as it represents a wish that the child will live to be 100 years old.  In Mexico when a girl turns 15 her coming of age is celebrated with a ‘quinceanera’ which begins with a mass in church followed by dinner and dancing with friends and family.

But what about old age? We no longer tend to celebrate the contributions of knowledge and wisdom that accumulate as we stumble through life.

I was extremely fortunate to be given a ‘Croning Ceremony’ by a group of friends for my 50th birthday. A ‘crone’ is a woman who is 50 years old and it celebrates and recognizes her as an elder in the community and a keeper of wisdom.  

For the ceremony, we drove down to Mullaloo Beach in Western Australia in the evening with a large packet of Cheezels (cheese flavoured circle chips which are tasty and the shape allows you to put your fingers in the holes and wear them like large yellow rings) and a bottle of red wine to share. We also had flowers, three ribbons and candles to light the summer’s evening. We sat in a circle on the beach and watched the sun go down and listened to the whisper of the waves gently lapping on the shore.

The ceremony was simple, but I found it to be extremely profound and nurturing. Each friend plaited three different coloured ribbons and as they did, they shared with the group what they loved, valued and respected about me. Once the person had finished talking they passed the ribbons on to the next person in the circle who continued the process. I was humbled by the depth of feelings that they shared and was surprised when the ribbons were passed around a second time. We live our lives unaware of the influence we have on other people. My ‘Croning Ceremony’ allowed me to see myself through the eyes of others. It was a magical and profound experience.

Once the ribbons were completely plaited, it was given to me as a gift of remembrance. Infused with each person’s well wishes and the happy memory of a nurturing and fun night, this simple gift is one of my most treasured possessions. After all the Cheezels and red wine had been consumed, we placed the flowers on the water and watched as the waves carried them away to new destinations.

So why am I sharing this story with you? I’m sharing this story because as we all stumble through life doing our best, it can be a wonderful gift to see yourself through the eyes of others. Don’t wait until someone turns 50 to tell them how you feel about them. Tell them now.

What is a Cheezel?

Photograph by Tetyana Kovyrina from Pexels